You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Randomize
