I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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