There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Randomize
