I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
