her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize