my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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