She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
