Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
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