dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
