you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
