my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
We talked him into tasing himself.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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