I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
