I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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