well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
