My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
The power of my boobs compel you
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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