...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
