you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
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I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
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She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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