Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
please come you make the beer taste better
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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