i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
