He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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