fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
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i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
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The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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