his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
