so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
