chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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