So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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