I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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