Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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