"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
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Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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