Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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