dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
