This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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