i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
where are my eyebrows?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize