1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
