Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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