He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
