just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
