Don't you send me to vm
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
