I want to stick my p in your. b.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
