Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Randomize
