Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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