I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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