Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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