Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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