I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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