why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
