I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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