I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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