My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
