Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Randomize
