I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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