dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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