he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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