He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
