Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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